We all must have gone through experiences that are hurtful. The memory could still bring back the emotions and the pain with it. Some of these experiences have changed us for good. Some could be holding us back from future experiences. Studies say emotional stress is 40 times more painful than physical stress. Someone said/done something days back, months, and sometimes even years back and it still brings the pain at a mere thought!
That’s the unfortunate (or fortunate!) aspect of being human.
So what do we do to get past this trauma that does not seem to let us move forward?
One of the most common challenges is, hanging on to the past.
That could be the very reason why Forgiveness is known to be the biggest healer. A lot of people talk about it and advice freely – Forgive!
I wish it was that straight forward. To just close your eyes and forgive. I am not saying it is not possible. I wish you get there someday. Till you get to that point, here is what you can do.
- Forgive, when you are ready. Don’t rush yourself into doing it when you are not ready. Give yourself time to process this emotion. This is time you need to be gentle with yourself and wait patiently. You are hurting. Don’t wallow in it, just give yourself some breathing space.
- Forgiving, does not mean you are reinstating faith: Not at all! It does not mean you trust them immediately. Your trust needs to be earned. If at all, be cautious. There is nothing wrong with being on your guard. Do not be doubtful. Your trust must be earned and if the person has the intention, they will work for it.
- Lastly, Forgiveness is an act of kindness towards yourself. As long as you harbor these negative memories and thoughts, you will continue to hurt. Forgive to liberate yourself from this pain. Forgiveness is setting yourself free from the past so that you can focus on the present to create a beautiful future.
Forgive. It does not mean you invite them for coffee, it means you are done with the negative charge. Read these 8 keys to Forgiveness.